Glimmers
Resilience isn't just about coping with stress. It's also about noticing what restores you.
6/19/20263 min read
The Small Moments That Help Us Through
Most of us are familiar with triggers.
A song.
A place.
A smell.
A photograph.
A comment from someone else.
Triggers can instantly transport us back to a difficult moment, bringing a rush of emotions before we've had time to think. When we're navigating divorce, separation, grief, or significant life change, triggers can seem to be everywhere. But there is another concept that deserves just as much attention.
They're called glimmers… and they are the opposite of triggers.
What Is a Glimmer?
A glimmer is a small moment that brings a sense of calm, joy, connection, hope, or safety.
It might be:
· The warmth of sunshine on your face.
· A text from a friend.
· The smell of fresh coffee.
· A child's laughter.
· A dog greeting you at the door.
· The first flowers appearing in spring.
· A favourite song on the radio.
Glimmers are often tiny. So tiny, in fact, that we can easily miss them. But that doesn't make them insignificant.
The Problem Is That Our Brains Are Wired for Threat
Human beings are remarkably good at spotting problems. It's one of the reasons we've survived as a species. Our brains are constantly scanning for danger, risk, and things that need our attention. Unfortunately, during difficult periods of life, this can mean we become experts at noticing everything that is wrong.
The unanswered email.
The legal process.
The financial worries.
The uncertainty.
The endless to-do list.
Without realising it, we can spend entire days focusing on what is stressful while overlooking what is supportive. If you’re waking early with a gasp about what you have to navigate, you certainly are not alone, but how about we feed your nervous system so you are resourced to face the day?
Glimmers Help Us Resource Ourselves
When life feels overwhelming, many people believe they need to push harder.
Be stronger.
Try harder.
Keep going.
But resilience isn't simply about endurance.
It's also about replenishment.
It's about finding ways to resource ourselves so that we have the capacity to face the challenges ahead. Glimmers help us do exactly that, they remind our nervous system that not everything is a threat. That moments of safety, connection, beauty and joy still exist. Not someday in the future.
Right now.
Smelling the Roses Isn't Frivolous
We often treat noticing the good things in life as a luxury, something we'll do when everything is sorted.
When the divorce is finalised.
When the children are settled.
When work becomes less busy.
When life feels easier.
But perhaps we've got it backwards? Perhaps noticing the roses isn't something we do once we're resilient? Perhaps it's one of the things that helps us become resilient?
The walk outside.
The conversation with a friend.
The cup of tea in the garden.
The sunset.
The favourite book.
The moment of laughter.
These are not distractions from life.
They are part of what helps sustain us through it.
Collecting Glimmers
During challenging times, it can be helpful to actively look for glimmers, not because we're ignoring reality, not because we're pretending everything is fine, but because we're choosing to notice the whole picture. You might even keep a note on your phone and record one glimmer each day.
A kind interaction.
A beautiful view.
A small achievement.
A moment of peace.
Over time, you'll begin to realise that even in difficult seasons, glimmers are still present.
A Gentle Invitation
Today, take a moment to notice something good. Not something life changing. Not something extraordinary. Just one small glimmer.
The warmth of your morning coffee.
Birdsong outside the window.
A smile from a stranger.
The scent of freshly cut grass.
A favourite song.
Because resilience isn't built solely in the moments when we are strong. Sometimes it's built in the moments when we pause long enough to notice what nourishes us.
And those small moments matter more than we realise.
Get in touch to arrange a free introductory conversation.
If you would like calm, confidential coaching support during your divorce, you are welcome to book a private clarity call, I'd love to hear from you.
Wishing you well
Sallie
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